I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
