I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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