fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
