Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
