Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am one with the molecules
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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