not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
