I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
