he wants to bone in the snuggie
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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