why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And then he peed in my hair
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