I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
