i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
