How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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