I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We had sex on a dog bed..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize