Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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