every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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