so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
