dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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