i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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