cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
