i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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