He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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