dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
