Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you would pick up someone in the library
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize