Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
