the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want to make out with him forever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
