Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
