Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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