The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
