Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
