i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
