His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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