So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize