I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
