I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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