This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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