I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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