do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
