he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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