Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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