i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
