Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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