Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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