im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
