she was so not down for the gang bang
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
