Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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