I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She needs sedatives and a leash
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
