Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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