Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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