dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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