So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
