don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
