Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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