I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
