Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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