...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize