sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it's like iHOP with fire
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's never too late to be topless.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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