who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
