Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize