You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
